For the first time since I’ve come out as a lesbian about 3 years ago, I’m starting to doubt myself. I have a bit of a man crush and it’s freaking me out a little bit. I really like him. But if that’s true does that make me bisexual? I think bisexual is a little bit of bologna to me but maybe? Or maybe I’m just a straight girl who’s not really into dicks but thinks boobs are the shit? I don’t know. Or maybe it’s just cause I’ve been single for almost 6 months and that’s really wierd for me.He treats me well. Better than anyone I’ve dated now that I think of it. I don’t want to like the things he does for me instead of who he actually is because if that’s true eventually that won’t be enough and I’ll just move onto someone else which that would be so wrong to do because that’s just like hurting innocent people for no reason. I told my one friend about this dilema and she said “Can you see yourself with this person and eventually sleeping with them?” I gave it a good hard thought and finally I came up with “yes”. THAT IS CRAZY. You can’t even begin to understand how crazy that is. I think dicks are repulsive in everyway. Then why can I now see myself with someone who has one when previously I couldn’t? I have gotten closer to God these past few months. But even before I came out I really honestly prayed about it and gave it to God and he told me it was good. But what is this? Ugh, I’m so confused. I still don’t even know if he likes me back.
